The Art of No: 2010-2011

"I have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have always fallen in love fast and without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism." - Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray, Love

That's my life written in 5 sentences.

The moment these lines touched my eyes, I knew that I have to do something about it.

In 2010, I learned how to put my foot down and refuse to be a victim of my own optimism.

The reaction I received however is another story. Describing it as CHAOS would be an understatement.

Nevertheless, I pulled through it from the support of my...

Friends

Family

and of course Him.

Someone surprised me by saying, "You're a woman of your own. You're on top of the world. You have and can have everything. You think you can always do everything on your own. He needs you to learn that you should give leave some for Him to do/give."

And I did.

He gave me...

"Make new friends but keep the old...

...one is Silver...

... and the other Gold."

Quoted song is a traditional girl scout song. (very random) haha But kind of sounds like variants of Patron.

Cut to...
Rekindled friendships.

kris kringle theme: give something offensive to your baby.

Cut to...
Cougar "Love in this club" story with a not so fairy tale ending because of my excessive use of the word... NOPE, which eventually got back to me.

You had me with the Corona

No worries, I have a...

Perfume

Mac Lipstick

As consolation prizes. :(





On a lighter note.... I....

conquered Asia's Longest Zipline

No. I will conquer my fear of heights.

While flying above chopped down trees  I have come to realized that... I think.. I should think more... Ergo... Friends... This effin' zipline is the root of all the paranoid evil you get from me.







I took a peak at HK....

 





Where I realized that some adventures are better experienced alone or with friends. In short, I didn't enjoy it as much as i expected.












So where does the art of No come in, in all these babbling?

After the first major "NO" in my life.... I began to slowly climb my way to the realm of saying YES to every friggin' possibility there is. It got me over-thinking, turned me crazy, made pimples appear after so many years. It basically turned my life upside down. I shouldn't have believe that YES MAN movie. Where you should just say yes and yes and yes...

I capped of my 2010 and started my 2011 quite messily mostly due to unfamiliar waters dabbled on. And like a wise-ass run down rookie, you play it cool... go with the flow follow the leader... and then bam!

I've acquired the yes attitude but it diluted my ability in confronting an unfamiliar situation.
It's like me refusing to watch 500 days of Summer because I haven't heard (from other people) of a movie that touches to close to reality. And I didn't like that. So I refuse to watch it.

Three times I tried confronting 3 people who were potentially important/unimportant..
First one, I had note scribbled down my left palm. I ended up pretending to be asleep because I don't want to be rejected.
Second, I didn't want to use the phrase, "let's talk..." because I want to play it cool. I ended up gloating my brains out figuring out how to get answers.
Third, I got caught up with the celebration, the booze and the "no one's looking" phrase. Pulled a fast one on me next thing I knew. Bam! I'm the douche.

And as much as the saying goes that it takes two to tango... I'd rather man up for all of these, and start my 2011 humbly recognizing my own mistakes by saying Yes, when I had an option to say No or vice-versa.

To all my lovers and friends..
Who I...
Stole food from while you weren't looking
Convinced you that it's okay when it isn't
Said something hurtful to
Backstabbed
Broke your heart
Offended by any means (consciously or unconsciously)

....... I humbly ask for your forgiveness.



And for all the naysayers, haters, even those who just can't sit down and listen to understand me (yes including you Mom...)

...... From the deepest abyss of my heart, you have my love.




So my next steps especially starting the third day of 2011....


 “Your mistake does not define who you are...you are your possibilities” Oprah Winfrey


Happy New Year!