Heartstring Theory

Heartstrings from google.com.ph

A few weeks ago, my sister told me a story about her friend, J, seeking to align her chakras. The guru said her chakras were not aligned due the location of her heart strings. From my understanding, heart strings are the connections we have to other people made out of love. J’s heartstrings were still connected to people from her past that aren’t necessarily present in her life right now. The heartstrings somehow kept her heart preoccupied and connected to them which caused her stress and inability to move forward smoothly. 

The guru’s suggestion was that maybe she should get her heartstrings back. In short, go talk to people at the other end of the heartstrings, close the door and get your friggin’ strings back. I think in layman’s terms: closure.

Most people fail to realize is that closure, though harder than a Jawbreaker, is the thing you do before, “The End.” I admire people who can skip this and just walk away. I’m not sure if it’s plain badass or cowardice or it didn’t matter that much to them or it was just too painful (as my friend, I, shared).

Tiptoeing yourself towards the other end of your heartstring could lead you to two results:

1.     Get your heartstring back and stamp, “The End,” on this person’s forehead OR

2.     Add another heartstring towards this person.

I only have a few heartstrings out there but believe me, they’re probably cement flavored Jawbreakers level. Yesterday, I tried to get back a heartstring and frankly, I don’t know if I got it back or added another one. Tricky things they are, I decided to back off and strategize some more.

Currently, I’m having a Twitter conversation with two of my friends about heartstrings. Here are some notable queries about it:

1.     Can you just cut it?

2.     What if the other person won’t give it back?

3.     Does it have an expiration date? (Very deep. Ala Chunking Express’ “If memories were sealed, would they have an expiration date?”

I haven’t really pondered on these questions but my top of mind answers would be:

1.     No you can’t just cut it

2.     Please tell me that you’ve read/watched Eat Pray Love. There’s a part there where Liz was on the rooftop of the ashram trying to make amends with her husband at the same time forgiving herself and what happened. (If you haven’t read/watched… RESEARCH!)

3.     Nope, they don’t have an expiration date. They can be hidden but once it’s tugged by the other person, oh you’d know its there.

I’ll get back to you once I’ve gathered all my heartstrings back. I’ll let you know how it feels and if it made a whole difference in my life. So kindly stand by starting tomorrow until the day my fingers are too rigid to type. Haha

While waiting for our heartstrings to be returned, I’ve gathered some useful information in understanding the fourth chakra in our body (where the heartstrings reside).

Chakra Four – Associations
Color - Green, pink
Physical Location - center of chest
Purposes - emotional empowerment
Spiritual Lesson - forgiveness, unconditional love, letting go, trust, compassion
Physical Dysfunctions - heart conditions, asthma, lung & breast cancers, thoracic spine, pneumonia, upper back, shoulder problems
Mental and Emotional Issues - love, compassion, confidence, inspiration, hope, despair, hate, envy, fear, jealousy, anger, generosity
Information Stored Inside Sacral Chakra - connections or "heart strings" to those whom we love
Area of Body Governed - heart, circulatory system, blood, lungs, rib cage, diaphragm, thymus, breasts, esophagus, shoulders, arms, hands
Exercises that stimulate the heart chakra
Chakracise your heart chakra by doing push ups, swimming (breast stroke), and hugging yourself
Foods that fuel the heart chakra
Leafy vegetables: spinach, kale, dandelion greens, etc.
Air vegetables: broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, celery, squash, etc.
Liquids: green teas
Spices basil, sage, thyme, cilantro, parsley
Gemstones - Malachite, Emerald, Rose Quartz
Flower Essences - Holly, Poppy, California Wild Rose

Source: http://www.psychicreadingswithmarie.com/chakras.php

Good luck getting our heartstrings back! :

12 days to 26.. 9,490 to it.

Turning 26 is not as grand and explicitly laborious as 25. However, 30 suddenly doesn't seem that far anymore. So you quietly wrestle with the internal and external pressure - starting on the day you turn 26.

Can i just go ahead with my wishlist?
1. Truly awesome surprise
2. Pint of Pistachio ice cream from FIC
3. Trip/Vacation for 1
4. Moet and chandon :)
5. Churros
6. Auntie anne's plain pretzel
7. Reviewer for Civil Service Exam
8. Sangria!!!
9. Chili Fries
10. World Peace

Number 10 would always be the priority. Always.

Lessons from Bob Marley

"Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they . Trquiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”
― Bob Marley

An episode from Fringe

Fringe is a title of a series that follows a special FBI team. The team uses unorthodox "fringe" science and FBI investigative techniques to investigate a series of unexplained, often ghastly occurrences, which are related to mysteries surrounding a parallel universe. (Wikipedia)

Disregard everything and focus on the "parallel universe."

After being Stone Cold Austin for the longest time... I cried. Just a few hours ago.

According to my sister, I live in between two parallel universe... two realities actually.

Reality One: I'm genuinely in love with a person who she thinks I can possibly marry.

Reality Two: My past caught up with me. Someone she's secretly rooting for all this time.

You know how you really love someone and there's a BUT and then everything goes downhill? It's not like that. Its two existing matter occupying the same space.


He never chose me, why should I start choosing him?

- - This post has been drafted a few months ago. 

Mind boggling randomness

If there's emotional affair? Is there such a thing as an intellectual affair? And if so, does that constitute cheating as well? - IV

2011: a year of blessings and what nots

Looking back.. I would never change a thing that happened. I believe in the simple concept of cause and effect. As of this day.. I'm glad all those things happened and I'm here where I am now.

Coming from a turbulent year last year. I am blessed with nothing but awesomeness and love from my family, friends, new friends, short time lovers, and others. I've rediscovered my self and got my so-called groove back. And finally the best part is... I fell in love...

Yeah, cheesy but come on give me a break. For the first time in the longest time... I really can say that I want this person. Not to give it a shot or whatever but yes.. I want you! Its something rare yet instant for me. And its hard to explain to everyone why you chose this person. But i did. And i'm happy about it. As i said to most of my friends.. I'd rather be with someone of my choice than settle for someone who can give me the world yet can't give me this feeling. Believe me, i've tried it already and it's far from peachy.

Okay if my friends are reading this they would've vomitted at the sight of the word peachy.

Moving on, not only was i blessed in the arena of love, I was also blessed with numerous travels. (Oh in one of those trips I met him). Bantayan Island, Samal Island, Panglao, Bohol, Zamboanga, Bukidnon, Davao... Etc etc. Places not any normal person would be able to see and experience from themselves. I've conquered the longest Zipline in Asia, tasted the famous Alavar sauce from Zamboanga, had lunch in the middle of Del Monte farm in Bukidnon, drank vodka shots in test tubes floating on the water while our bags in a nearby sand bar were being sucked into the waves.

I was truly blessed and God knows i can never be thankful enough.

There were some casualties of course during this year but for me it was meant to be more than anything. One of the highlights of this year happened to me just yesterday. I met up with a friend who i haven't seen for two years because my ex bf made us fight. Getting her back was one of the best gifts of 2011. We've been through false alarm pregnancies, psycho ex bfs, suicide attempts and most importantly the loss of our best friend, JP.

For one of my closing statements: Thankful to those who stayed. God bless to those who left.

But above anything else... Just in awe of how everything fell into place and led me to where I am now.... Bliss. :)

Happy New Year!

You are my joy

I still haven't figured out the real meaning of Snow Patrol's You Are My Joy but as of the moment.. I'm in love with it same as with JGQ...

Wishing and hoping and praying :)

Mobile Blogger

I finally found the blogger app. :) so so so happy! Hopefully, i can update my blog more often. As of tonight, or this moment... Ciao and good night. :)

wants and needs...

I'll take the wants...

I want to kick it old school....

I want the song to fill the air...

I want to stop the greed, pride and lust...

I want to cook dinner...

I want to watch a movie and share a jacket...

I want to read a book and sleep on a shoulder...

I want to bore you with my silence...

I want to your face to light up at the sight of me...

I want you to hate me it hurts...

I want you.

Not need.

For now.

Over a two-piece chicken meal

Around 10:30pm, my sister and I decided to have some late dinner delivered. I've also been craving for Jollibee's Chicken Joy. So I got a two-piece meal.

I've been on a constant Sisa mode for the past few days and I know that it's driving my friends crazy. (Hey you guys are as crazy as me noh!)

Over these two heavenly leg part Chicken Joys, I realized the following:

1. I'm really good with theories, especially this one I'm preaching to everyone: GUYS ARE THE NEW GIRLS. Why?
- Their "pakipot"
- Their clingy
- Their too sensitive
- Their moody
- I keep forgetting the 5th one, but there's a 5th justification.
So far, I've received nothing but nods of agreement and violent positive reactions (most of the time accompanied by swearing). A guy friend even confessed that yes, he's a girl in all these "traits/justifications."
ANYARE?
Is this because of the global warming? Japan's earthquake that kind of moved some plates? Or is it because 2012 is nearing?
I have no idea what's happening but so far no one has contested this observation.

2. Coming from my previous entry.. "If you could have what you want, would you really want it?"
My answer is still I don't know... which brings me to my argument.... This "chaos," maybe is what I want at the moment because I don't know if I want to go to the next room. Or like what I said... my attention span for all types of chaos is very very short. So.. in about a few weeks, we're going to back to regular programming.

----- i just saw this draft and just decided to post it... Regardless if its unfinished.

The most inconvenient truth

"if you can get what you want, would you really want it?"

truth is: i'm leaning towards NO.

Coming from Al Gore's, "The Inconvenient Truth," I have a question.. Isn't the truth really inconvenient in the first place?

We babble about the truth setting us free but at the back of our minds, we all wish to live in the comfort of a lie.

Right now... whatever the truth is, I frankly don't know how to go about it. So my solution is: make up my own truth.. hold on to it... and believe its true.

As one of the Nazi propagandist said, "if you repeat a lie often enough, it becomes the truth."

And so... God forbid, let's start walking away.

Birthday Blues

A joke from a college blockmate:
Knock knock
Who's there?
Buff.
Buff who?
Buff bububuff buff buff Happy Birthday to you!

K. Tnx. Noted.

It's my birthday month this May. Although my birthday isn't up until the last week, I feel somehow... serene.

What the eff right? Probably the last words you'd expect from me. Yes. Di bagay.

Cut the long mumblings short: I'm really learning how to wrestle with my demons.

Okay enough dilly dally.

Today, I managed to make a surprise for one of the bosses in my group. I can't help but feel so excited and I just can't hide it... i know i know i want you. Okay nasobrahan. haha

I'm also cooking up something for another friend. I'm begging you right now to cross your fingers on this one. Are you crossing your fingers? Sure? Both of them? Left and right? Okay. Thanks!

Then it got me thinking... let's say... let's just say I also am entitled to a surprise... I don't think anyone could give me on. I don't even know exactly what I want for my birthday. (Although... ang blog ko before this is my wishlist haha) But you know what you really WANT. Like, genie kind of want that you'd wish for it. Other people like food, some their favorite band, others alcohol (amen to those)... But me, I don't know really, quarter life crisis much?

Let me see, if I'm getting married.. I'd like Apo Hiking Society.

If I'm married, a quiet getaway with my husband.

If I have kids, just to wake up to them watching tv on my bed.

If I'm a Lola... Probably liempo... you know how old people aren't allowed to eat pork. hahaha

If I'm single and turning 25.... hhhmm.. I don't know really.

You know how other people make a big fuss about birthdays?

About 4-5 years ago, my ex bf treated me out to dinner and shopped for me the whole shebang.

After that, I spent my birthday in the hospital because another ex bf was suffering from.. I can't remember.

After that, I got a tiffany bracelet from my ex bf, gathered some friends and treated them to some drinks. This may I add should've been the most perfect birthday ever!!!! But when a few hours of it..I got effin' bored but of course I couldn't show it because its my freakin' birthday.  (which was actually a premonition)

And so we move on to this year....  Zzzz.....Not even tickets to Kylie Minogue can make this girl jump for joy for my birthday.

Maybe world peace?
Spiritual Enlightenment?
Yoga?
Burlesque Classes?!
Getaway?
Sleep?
House and Lot?

Yes I'm whining. Whine.. rhymes with wine... hhmmm.... not bad not bad.

Okay, world peace na lang. :)) (cliche)

I just noticed how cliche rhymes with touche! Interesting.

I'm going to stop rhyming now.

Haha

Oh yeah.... I want to start writing again. Like write write. Can you bear with me? Yeah? Yeah! (Kinda talking to myself because no one really reads this.)

Oooopppsss Sisa moment. :))

Quarter Life Birthday Wish List

More than a month to my birthday I'd like to share my wish list with you. Just so you know what will make me happy on my birthday. Yes, I'm giving you that burden. Haha Kidding!

As some of my close friends know, I'm very easy to please. Yes, mababaw ako. Hahaha

Soooo.... Are you ready? Okay!

Let's start with basic human needs.

1. What's a birthday without a cake?!? I don't have a sweet tooth but cheesecakes are my weakness. :)

New York Chocolate Chip Brown Cookie Dough Cheesecake by Chelsea

Brooklyn Cheesecake by Borough

2. What's a kiddie party without ice cream?!!??! (saan galing yung kiddie party?) For those nights when I'd rather stay in.. relax... wachaamobieee.

Fic's Pistachio Ice Cream

3. Actually, this is my favorite dessert before cheesecakes. :) I could die eating this and I'd be happy.

Creme Brulee

4. Sparkling Lambrusco from Marks and Spencer. Signs of aging? Whine este wine ang attack.

But if you prefer giving me this.... Hindi naman ako choosy. Paki samahan na rin ng Coke. Thanks!

Black Label

5. If you want to take me out for dinner here are your options:

Gayuma ni Maria

Because they have the best croissant evaaah!

Pwede ring Four Cheese Pizza ng Green Tomato, Charlie's Grind and Grill, etc. etc. :)


Now let's move on to the non-edibles.

6. Carmex Lip Balm. Any flavor would do but I prefer cherry. Haha

7. Lappie bag. My laptop bag badly needs a replacement. I have a 13 inch lappie. *wink* *wink* Nothing fancy and loud please. I prefer a shoulder bag but anything from YOU would do. CHAR! Nyahaha

Photo from Lap Dance website

8. Shock and sweat proof earphones for running. Yes, I'm TRYING to run to loose and/or tone some unwanted bulges. Please be supportive of my cause. :D

Sennheiser Adidas MX860i 

Note: Not necessarily this model but it has to be sweat proof. Hopefully it would go well with my Blackberry and Ipod. :)

8. Only a few people know that I read books. Like really read books. I made a book report for Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet when I was in 3rd grade. And I enjoyed reading Noli Me Tangere (as in the red book with bad text print).

I got addicted to the film, now I want to read it. Can I get the whole set please?

Or... a year's subscription to Time Magazine wouldn't be so bad :) Hihihi

I also have an experience category.

9. Can we watch this... please? :)

Coz I lab Brandon Boyd

Coz Adam Levine's hot

Because you all know I have the Bieber Fever. jeje

10.  Be prepared to get served!Coz I'm a frustrated Lara Croft wanabee! :))

Laser Tag

Initially, I was planning to enumerate 25 options for my 25th birthday. But halfway through it, I realized that it would be fun to have an element of surprise. :)

So yes, a surprise would be awweesssoomme. But just to get things straight, I also take cash and check and vacation packages. :)) Hahaha Kidding!

Happy Birthday to meeeehhhhh :)

Sabi sa inyo mababaw lang kaligayahan ko eh. :)

One Last Time vs. Second Chance

Would you rather have one last moment with him/her?

"Sure I can accept we're going nowhere but one last time let's go there..." Paulo Nutini's Last Request

or.. gather up the courage to ask for another chance?

Upon watching the video of Paulo Nutini,  I included dancing on the grass with the sprinklers on at night in my bucket list. :)

Gaga over Cream Dory

I've never been a fan of eating fish but when I discovered Cream Dory... it was heaven! Instead of using meat sometimes, I use cream dory. Ever since I watched episodes of Junior Masterchef Australia, I wanted to cook and cook and cook... But then again, most of the time the laziness kicks in and I end up having a double cheeseburger delivered from Mcdo.

 I'm crossing my fingers that one of these days I would get to cook.... 

Cocoa Crusted Dory

Deep Fried Dory with Cheese Sauce

Would you like to taste it? Haha Cross your fingers it's even edible. :))

Someday I'll see you...

Hair Issues

I'm dying to have my hair colored and styled like this.....

One dayyyy....

Of marriage and other lies

I told myself that I would only read Elizabeth Gilbert’s “Committed,” until the fat lady sings or in my so-called layman’s terms: when I’m truly wholeheartedly ready to commit.  I have nothing else to read and I’m in a very frugal mood so I ended up rereading old books. When I read everything, I took the leap and got the courage to pick up, “Committed.”

Some of my close friends know how I’m the epitome of a nutcase… hey wait a minute, look in the url box... “I’m” Sisa. I pushed someone away who some of my friends believe as “the one who got away.” I’m still wrestling with the thought that in my whole life he really is the one who got away. Sana hindi. CHAR!

Anywhoo, “Committed,” is how a skeptic makes peace with marriage. I won’t make kwento already but below are some of my favorite lines… so far.

-       Sometimes, life’s too hard to be alone and sometimes life is too good to be alone.

-       … because the good stuff is always going to be pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you.

-       I can look at you without wanting to have sex with you.

-       All human suffering is rooted in desire (Buddha)

-       One man’s Venus is another man’s bimbo

-       I had never dared to dream that I would be allowed to have any of those things in my life. 

So far that’s it. I actually don’t care much about this, but I think in the long run I’m going to back to all these… hopefully. Hahaha

So why all of a sudden about marriage?

Yesterday, I had a dress made for a wedding of a friend. She’s the first one to get married in my barkada. I mean come on… seriously? Marriage? I can’t even stand couples holding hands and the thought of me going all lovey dovey gives me the creeps. Although sometimes, I miss it but then I wake up from that illusion sweating like sh*t. I’m not bitter or jealous of my friend but I don’t know I’m just putting myself in her position.

Lies.

A few years ago, I lied to a guy who I was trying to ditch. He’s actually nice…. Even smells nice… Thoughtful, caring, etc. The whole enchilada… but I have my own reasons and hang-ups so I wanted to ditch him. He went to the US for vacation. When he went there after a few months, I told him that I secretly married a son of a political scion and was planning to have a kid soon. Hahaha!

Took me awhile to sell him the whole picture but he bought it. It worked, he never called or e-mailed no nothing. Until this afternoon when he ym-ed me and asked me how my kids are…. Told him casually… “Hey joke lang lahat ng yun naniwala ka naman.” Hahaha

I’m sure he would’ve loved to kick me in the balls well if I have one that is. Hahaha

He said it’s okay but knowing him I’m sure he’s pissed as hell and might be on his 10^th bottle right abouuut now!

Ironic part is… I just realized how he resembles “the one who got away.”

PAK!

I want a tv embrace

and i wish i could say that everyone was wrong... - Cigarettes Will Kill You

I have to admit.. are you ready for this? Yes I wanted to prove everyone of them wrong.... that it was really possible for me and you.... and the whole enchilada. 

I hate this part right here. CHAR. Pussycat Dolls is that you?!?

Okay. So.....

Played it too well that "maybe" i forgot to see what's really there?

Or all the while I knew it was there... but it wasn't the right time?

Mr. Right is not necessarily Mr. Now?

You felt the leap of faith but logic tells you it's not yet time.

If you really believe that why this?

Why the finished pack of cigarettes? Why the #nowplaying? Why the nauseating, heavy, weak on the knees and craving for alcohol feeling they call "hurt"?

Hhhmmm..... or gusto ko lang mag emo bilang may reason ako to go full emo mode?

And so I end this entry with this song.... (ala DJ)

"and I'm tired, of so much wanting and what if, don't even think it but why not." - I Ache for You

And of course your favorite song...

Age is just a number... daw.

For lovers... age doesn't matter.


Most of the the time it does buddy. Whether we like it or not, it is a deciding factor. But I'm not going to blab about age differences in relationships and such, I want to talk about my age...


I'm turning 25 in a few months and for some weird reason, I feel like I'm under so much non existent pressure.


Do you believe in quarter life crisis? I do! Okay, so Sisa Mode ON! Is it me or is everybody like in a hurry to do so much. As if we're in a race, that we have to do everything NOW. We have to buy this now, we have to eat in this restaurant now, we have to see each other now, we have to have a crush now, we have to find someone who we can possibly spend the rest of our lives with now.


Okay the last one was a bit far but come on. Aminin!


On the way to church..
Dadi: May bagong village na pala dito...
Nowie: Oo nga noh...
Dadi: Oh bili ka na dyan, gamitin mo na pag-ibig mo para sa future....


And I'm like.. "SAAAYY WUUUHHHT DAD!?!?!"


Over dinner...
Momi: Ilan taon ka na nga?
Nowie: Shux, mag 25 na ako!!!!
Momi: Nung 25 ako two years old ka na eh..


"SAY WUUUHHHHHHHHTTTT!!!!!!?!?!"


So yeah, why do I have this feeling that I SHOULD be doing more?


Talking to myself would also not help since I have this "internal" goal of being married by the age of 25. So nothing worked out so far so I'm moving it to 28. Haha

Having my eyes on the age of 28 it just feels like its a million light years away and at the same time it looks.... old. :(


I hope I'd still be a hot mom when I get to have a kid. I'd like to still hear a compliment, "omg, you look like his sister." Hahaha

Here are my signs of aging:
 - arthritis
 - sleepy by 10pm
 - lowered alcohol tolerance
 - would rather go out when there's still sun
 - etc. etc.


Or maybe I just got tired of the fast life so here I am slowing it down. But being the impatient that I am, I keep asking... what's next?


This coming of age/quarter life crisis is really annoying. Age is a number yes... that can define you perspective in life and drive you mad (like me).  So it's not a number per se. It's reminder. Like those reminders you copy in your notebook during homeroom:


REMINDERS:
1. Please wear gala uniform tomorrow.
2. Bring canned goods for offertory.
3. Ask parents to sign the waiver form for next week's field trip.


Here's my version:
1. Please refrain from looking back.
2. Don't be afraid to slow down
3. To hell with 25! Just make sure you get drunk on your birthday b**ch! :)