Mind boggling randomness

If there's emotional affair? Is there such a thing as an intellectual affair? And if so, does that constitute cheating as well? - IV

2011: a year of blessings and what nots

Looking back.. I would never change a thing that happened. I believe in the simple concept of cause and effect. As of this day.. I'm glad all those things happened and I'm here where I am now.

Coming from a turbulent year last year. I am blessed with nothing but awesomeness and love from my family, friends, new friends, short time lovers, and others. I've rediscovered my self and got my so-called groove back. And finally the best part is... I fell in love...

Yeah, cheesy but come on give me a break. For the first time in the longest time... I really can say that I want this person. Not to give it a shot or whatever but yes.. I want you! Its something rare yet instant for me. And its hard to explain to everyone why you chose this person. But i did. And i'm happy about it. As i said to most of my friends.. I'd rather be with someone of my choice than settle for someone who can give me the world yet can't give me this feeling. Believe me, i've tried it already and it's far from peachy.

Okay if my friends are reading this they would've vomitted at the sight of the word peachy.

Moving on, not only was i blessed in the arena of love, I was also blessed with numerous travels. (Oh in one of those trips I met him). Bantayan Island, Samal Island, Panglao, Bohol, Zamboanga, Bukidnon, Davao... Etc etc. Places not any normal person would be able to see and experience from themselves. I've conquered the longest Zipline in Asia, tasted the famous Alavar sauce from Zamboanga, had lunch in the middle of Del Monte farm in Bukidnon, drank vodka shots in test tubes floating on the water while our bags in a nearby sand bar were being sucked into the waves.

I was truly blessed and God knows i can never be thankful enough.

There were some casualties of course during this year but for me it was meant to be more than anything. One of the highlights of this year happened to me just yesterday. I met up with a friend who i haven't seen for two years because my ex bf made us fight. Getting her back was one of the best gifts of 2011. We've been through false alarm pregnancies, psycho ex bfs, suicide attempts and most importantly the loss of our best friend, JP.

For one of my closing statements: Thankful to those who stayed. God bless to those who left.

But above anything else... Just in awe of how everything fell into place and led me to where I am now.... Bliss. :)

Happy New Year!

You are my joy

I still haven't figured out the real meaning of Snow Patrol's You Are My Joy but as of the moment.. I'm in love with it same as with JGQ...

Wishing and hoping and praying :)

Mobile Blogger

I finally found the blogger app. :) so so so happy! Hopefully, i can update my blog more often. As of tonight, or this moment... Ciao and good night. :)

wants and needs...

I'll take the wants...

I want to kick it old school....

I want the song to fill the air...

I want to stop the greed, pride and lust...

I want to cook dinner...

I want to watch a movie and share a jacket...

I want to read a book and sleep on a shoulder...

I want to bore you with my silence...

I want to your face to light up at the sight of me...

I want you to hate me it hurts...

I want you.

Not need.

For now.

Over a two-piece chicken meal

Around 10:30pm, my sister and I decided to have some late dinner delivered. I've also been craving for Jollibee's Chicken Joy. So I got a two-piece meal.

I've been on a constant Sisa mode for the past few days and I know that it's driving my friends crazy. (Hey you guys are as crazy as me noh!)

Over these two heavenly leg part Chicken Joys, I realized the following:

1. I'm really good with theories, especially this one I'm preaching to everyone: GUYS ARE THE NEW GIRLS. Why?
- Their "pakipot"
- Their clingy
- Their too sensitive
- Their moody
- I keep forgetting the 5th one, but there's a 5th justification.
So far, I've received nothing but nods of agreement and violent positive reactions (most of the time accompanied by swearing). A guy friend even confessed that yes, he's a girl in all these "traits/justifications."
ANYARE?
Is this because of the global warming? Japan's earthquake that kind of moved some plates? Or is it because 2012 is nearing?
I have no idea what's happening but so far no one has contested this observation.

2. Coming from my previous entry.. "If you could have what you want, would you really want it?"
My answer is still I don't know... which brings me to my argument.... This "chaos," maybe is what I want at the moment because I don't know if I want to go to the next room. Or like what I said... my attention span for all types of chaos is very very short. So.. in about a few weeks, we're going to back to regular programming.

----- i just saw this draft and just decided to post it... Regardless if its unfinished.

The most inconvenient truth

"if you can get what you want, would you really want it?"

truth is: i'm leaning towards NO.

Coming from Al Gore's, "The Inconvenient Truth," I have a question.. Isn't the truth really inconvenient in the first place?

We babble about the truth setting us free but at the back of our minds, we all wish to live in the comfort of a lie.

Right now... whatever the truth is, I frankly don't know how to go about it. So my solution is: make up my own truth.. hold on to it... and believe its true.

As one of the Nazi propagandist said, "if you repeat a lie often enough, it becomes the truth."

And so... God forbid, let's start walking away.

Birthday Blues

A joke from a college blockmate:
Knock knock
Who's there?
Buff.
Buff who?
Buff bububuff buff buff Happy Birthday to you!

K. Tnx. Noted.

It's my birthday month this May. Although my birthday isn't up until the last week, I feel somehow... serene.

What the eff right? Probably the last words you'd expect from me. Yes. Di bagay.

Cut the long mumblings short: I'm really learning how to wrestle with my demons.

Okay enough dilly dally.

Today, I managed to make a surprise for one of the bosses in my group. I can't help but feel so excited and I just can't hide it... i know i know i want you. Okay nasobrahan. haha

I'm also cooking up something for another friend. I'm begging you right now to cross your fingers on this one. Are you crossing your fingers? Sure? Both of them? Left and right? Okay. Thanks!

Then it got me thinking... let's say... let's just say I also am entitled to a surprise... I don't think anyone could give me on. I don't even know exactly what I want for my birthday. (Although... ang blog ko before this is my wishlist haha) But you know what you really WANT. Like, genie kind of want that you'd wish for it. Other people like food, some their favorite band, others alcohol (amen to those)... But me, I don't know really, quarter life crisis much?

Let me see, if I'm getting married.. I'd like Apo Hiking Society.

If I'm married, a quiet getaway with my husband.

If I have kids, just to wake up to them watching tv on my bed.

If I'm a Lola... Probably liempo... you know how old people aren't allowed to eat pork. hahaha

If I'm single and turning 25.... hhhmm.. I don't know really.

You know how other people make a big fuss about birthdays?

About 4-5 years ago, my ex bf treated me out to dinner and shopped for me the whole shebang.

After that, I spent my birthday in the hospital because another ex bf was suffering from.. I can't remember.

After that, I got a tiffany bracelet from my ex bf, gathered some friends and treated them to some drinks. This may I add should've been the most perfect birthday ever!!!! But when a few hours of it..I got effin' bored but of course I couldn't show it because its my freakin' birthday.  (which was actually a premonition)

And so we move on to this year....  Zzzz.....Not even tickets to Kylie Minogue can make this girl jump for joy for my birthday.

Maybe world peace?
Spiritual Enlightenment?
Yoga?
Burlesque Classes?!
Getaway?
Sleep?
House and Lot?

Yes I'm whining. Whine.. rhymes with wine... hhmmm.... not bad not bad.

Okay, world peace na lang. :)) (cliche)

I just noticed how cliche rhymes with touche! Interesting.

I'm going to stop rhyming now.

Haha

Oh yeah.... I want to start writing again. Like write write. Can you bear with me? Yeah? Yeah! (Kinda talking to myself because no one really reads this.)

Oooopppsss Sisa moment. :))

Quarter Life Birthday Wish List

More than a month to my birthday I'd like to share my wish list with you. Just so you know what will make me happy on my birthday. Yes, I'm giving you that burden. Haha Kidding!

As some of my close friends know, I'm very easy to please. Yes, mababaw ako. Hahaha

Soooo.... Are you ready? Okay!

Let's start with basic human needs.

1. What's a birthday without a cake?!? I don't have a sweet tooth but cheesecakes are my weakness. :)

New York Chocolate Chip Brown Cookie Dough Cheesecake by Chelsea

Brooklyn Cheesecake by Borough

2. What's a kiddie party without ice cream?!!??! (saan galing yung kiddie party?) For those nights when I'd rather stay in.. relax... wachaamobieee.

Fic's Pistachio Ice Cream

3. Actually, this is my favorite dessert before cheesecakes. :) I could die eating this and I'd be happy.

Creme Brulee

4. Sparkling Lambrusco from Marks and Spencer. Signs of aging? Whine este wine ang attack.

But if you prefer giving me this.... Hindi naman ako choosy. Paki samahan na rin ng Coke. Thanks!

Black Label

5. If you want to take me out for dinner here are your options:

Gayuma ni Maria

Because they have the best croissant evaaah!

Pwede ring Four Cheese Pizza ng Green Tomato, Charlie's Grind and Grill, etc. etc. :)


Now let's move on to the non-edibles.

6. Carmex Lip Balm. Any flavor would do but I prefer cherry. Haha

7. Lappie bag. My laptop bag badly needs a replacement. I have a 13 inch lappie. *wink* *wink* Nothing fancy and loud please. I prefer a shoulder bag but anything from YOU would do. CHAR! Nyahaha

Photo from Lap Dance website

8. Shock and sweat proof earphones for running. Yes, I'm TRYING to run to loose and/or tone some unwanted bulges. Please be supportive of my cause. :D

Sennheiser Adidas MX860i 

Note: Not necessarily this model but it has to be sweat proof. Hopefully it would go well with my Blackberry and Ipod. :)

8. Only a few people know that I read books. Like really read books. I made a book report for Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet when I was in 3rd grade. And I enjoyed reading Noli Me Tangere (as in the red book with bad text print).

I got addicted to the film, now I want to read it. Can I get the whole set please?

Or... a year's subscription to Time Magazine wouldn't be so bad :) Hihihi

I also have an experience category.

9. Can we watch this... please? :)

Coz I lab Brandon Boyd

Coz Adam Levine's hot

Because you all know I have the Bieber Fever. jeje

10.  Be prepared to get served!Coz I'm a frustrated Lara Croft wanabee! :))

Laser Tag

Initially, I was planning to enumerate 25 options for my 25th birthday. But halfway through it, I realized that it would be fun to have an element of surprise. :)

So yes, a surprise would be awweesssoomme. But just to get things straight, I also take cash and check and vacation packages. :)) Hahaha Kidding!

Happy Birthday to meeeehhhhh :)

Sabi sa inyo mababaw lang kaligayahan ko eh. :)

One Last Time vs. Second Chance

Would you rather have one last moment with him/her?

"Sure I can accept we're going nowhere but one last time let's go there..." Paulo Nutini's Last Request

or.. gather up the courage to ask for another chance?

Upon watching the video of Paulo Nutini,  I included dancing on the grass with the sprinklers on at night in my bucket list. :)

Gaga over Cream Dory

I've never been a fan of eating fish but when I discovered Cream Dory... it was heaven! Instead of using meat sometimes, I use cream dory. Ever since I watched episodes of Junior Masterchef Australia, I wanted to cook and cook and cook... But then again, most of the time the laziness kicks in and I end up having a double cheeseburger delivered from Mcdo.

 I'm crossing my fingers that one of these days I would get to cook.... 

Cocoa Crusted Dory

Deep Fried Dory with Cheese Sauce

Would you like to taste it? Haha Cross your fingers it's even edible. :))

Someday I'll see you...

Hair Issues

I'm dying to have my hair colored and styled like this.....

One dayyyy....

Of marriage and other lies

I told myself that I would only read Elizabeth Gilbert’s “Committed,” until the fat lady sings or in my so-called layman’s terms: when I’m truly wholeheartedly ready to commit.  I have nothing else to read and I’m in a very frugal mood so I ended up rereading old books. When I read everything, I took the leap and got the courage to pick up, “Committed.”

Some of my close friends know how I’m the epitome of a nutcase… hey wait a minute, look in the url box... “I’m” Sisa. I pushed someone away who some of my friends believe as “the one who got away.” I’m still wrestling with the thought that in my whole life he really is the one who got away. Sana hindi. CHAR!

Anywhoo, “Committed,” is how a skeptic makes peace with marriage. I won’t make kwento already but below are some of my favorite lines… so far.

-       Sometimes, life’s too hard to be alone and sometimes life is too good to be alone.

-       … because the good stuff is always going to be pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you.

-       I can look at you without wanting to have sex with you.

-       All human suffering is rooted in desire (Buddha)

-       One man’s Venus is another man’s bimbo

-       I had never dared to dream that I would be allowed to have any of those things in my life. 

So far that’s it. I actually don’t care much about this, but I think in the long run I’m going to back to all these… hopefully. Hahaha

So why all of a sudden about marriage?

Yesterday, I had a dress made for a wedding of a friend. She’s the first one to get married in my barkada. I mean come on… seriously? Marriage? I can’t even stand couples holding hands and the thought of me going all lovey dovey gives me the creeps. Although sometimes, I miss it but then I wake up from that illusion sweating like sh*t. I’m not bitter or jealous of my friend but I don’t know I’m just putting myself in her position.

Lies.

A few years ago, I lied to a guy who I was trying to ditch. He’s actually nice…. Even smells nice… Thoughtful, caring, etc. The whole enchilada… but I have my own reasons and hang-ups so I wanted to ditch him. He went to the US for vacation. When he went there after a few months, I told him that I secretly married a son of a political scion and was planning to have a kid soon. Hahaha!

Took me awhile to sell him the whole picture but he bought it. It worked, he never called or e-mailed no nothing. Until this afternoon when he ym-ed me and asked me how my kids are…. Told him casually… “Hey joke lang lahat ng yun naniwala ka naman.” Hahaha

I’m sure he would’ve loved to kick me in the balls well if I have one that is. Hahaha

He said it’s okay but knowing him I’m sure he’s pissed as hell and might be on his 10^th bottle right abouuut now!

Ironic part is… I just realized how he resembles “the one who got away.”

PAK!

I want a tv embrace

and i wish i could say that everyone was wrong... - Cigarettes Will Kill You

I have to admit.. are you ready for this? Yes I wanted to prove everyone of them wrong.... that it was really possible for me and you.... and the whole enchilada. 

I hate this part right here. CHAR. Pussycat Dolls is that you?!?

Okay. So.....

Played it too well that "maybe" i forgot to see what's really there?

Or all the while I knew it was there... but it wasn't the right time?

Mr. Right is not necessarily Mr. Now?

You felt the leap of faith but logic tells you it's not yet time.

If you really believe that why this?

Why the finished pack of cigarettes? Why the #nowplaying? Why the nauseating, heavy, weak on the knees and craving for alcohol feeling they call "hurt"?

Hhhmmm..... or gusto ko lang mag emo bilang may reason ako to go full emo mode?

And so I end this entry with this song.... (ala DJ)

"and I'm tired, of so much wanting and what if, don't even think it but why not." - I Ache for You

And of course your favorite song...

Age is just a number... daw.

For lovers... age doesn't matter.


Most of the the time it does buddy. Whether we like it or not, it is a deciding factor. But I'm not going to blab about age differences in relationships and such, I want to talk about my age...


I'm turning 25 in a few months and for some weird reason, I feel like I'm under so much non existent pressure.


Do you believe in quarter life crisis? I do! Okay, so Sisa Mode ON! Is it me or is everybody like in a hurry to do so much. As if we're in a race, that we have to do everything NOW. We have to buy this now, we have to eat in this restaurant now, we have to see each other now, we have to have a crush now, we have to find someone who we can possibly spend the rest of our lives with now.


Okay the last one was a bit far but come on. Aminin!


On the way to church..
Dadi: May bagong village na pala dito...
Nowie: Oo nga noh...
Dadi: Oh bili ka na dyan, gamitin mo na pag-ibig mo para sa future....


And I'm like.. "SAAAYY WUUUHHHT DAD!?!?!"


Over dinner...
Momi: Ilan taon ka na nga?
Nowie: Shux, mag 25 na ako!!!!
Momi: Nung 25 ako two years old ka na eh..


"SAY WUUUHHHHHHHHTTTT!!!!!!?!?!"


So yeah, why do I have this feeling that I SHOULD be doing more?


Talking to myself would also not help since I have this "internal" goal of being married by the age of 25. So nothing worked out so far so I'm moving it to 28. Haha

Having my eyes on the age of 28 it just feels like its a million light years away and at the same time it looks.... old. :(


I hope I'd still be a hot mom when I get to have a kid. I'd like to still hear a compliment, "omg, you look like his sister." Hahaha

Here are my signs of aging:
 - arthritis
 - sleepy by 10pm
 - lowered alcohol tolerance
 - would rather go out when there's still sun
 - etc. etc.


Or maybe I just got tired of the fast life so here I am slowing it down. But being the impatient that I am, I keep asking... what's next?


This coming of age/quarter life crisis is really annoying. Age is a number yes... that can define you perspective in life and drive you mad (like me).  So it's not a number per se. It's reminder. Like those reminders you copy in your notebook during homeroom:


REMINDERS:
1. Please wear gala uniform tomorrow.
2. Bring canned goods for offertory.
3. Ask parents to sign the waiver form for next week's field trip.


Here's my version:
1. Please refrain from looking back.
2. Don't be afraid to slow down
3. To hell with 25! Just make sure you get drunk on your birthday b**ch! :)

Kwento - May 3, 2006 - Until Present

Ito ang Kwento...
Tipong hindi pa nasisimulan tapos na.
Dala ng kamusmusan, panandalian, nagpupumilit magkunwari, masaya, malungkot.
May kwento nga ba? At kung meroon man... What's the point?
Oo meroong kwento. Kailangan ba may point ang pag ungkat sa mga ganitong kwento? Hindi ba pwedeng walang point para open ended ang storya? Ayaw mo ba ng never ending story? Sa bagay, mahirap nga iyon. Walang katapusang ganito. Kwento nga ba o laro? Marahil tayo ay mga laruan lamang at nilagay sa isang Polly Pocket na kung tawagin ay ay... pag iisipan ko na lang muna... binubuksan lamang isang beses sa isang taon. Minsan tinataktak ng nakasara para lang maramdaman na may mga laruan pa pala sa loob. Totoo nga bang may laruan o kathang isip lamang? Kung makakayanan lang nating hayaan itong maging open ended na kwento... Pero dahil sa Hollywood need for clarity and some sense of closure, hindi tayo mapalagay hangga't walang .
 

*Minsan

A Warm Cup

I nod looking at the way you hesitate to take my hand resting so near yours. I know you're already gone. I will make it easy for both of us. I tell myself. I will forget the feel of your hands on my skin. I will smile and tell you that I'm happy for you because that's what you want to hear and that is what I want to believe.I will not hope you will be back soon nor say that i wish was going with you. Instead, I will keep in mind that there is nothing between us anymore. It's just that the coffee is too warm and I am so cold.

Excerpts from A Warm Cup

*Minsan

Don't get out of bed

One of the thrity reasons why you shouldn't get out of bed: if you go out, you might meet someone interesting. If you meet someone interesting, you might fall in love. If you fall in love, you will suffer. Don't suffer. So stay in bed.

-Jessica Zafra

January 22, 2007

11:37 to be precise 11:38 in a while

It's my day off tomorrow so I have all the time to waste. Time is gold as the cliche goes. Every minute.. second... counts..

1....2.... 3.........

Kung may log sheet lang siguro ang bawat araw.. oras.. minuto.. segundo.... ng ating buhay malalaman natin kung gaano natin nilustay ang ating mga kilos sa mga walang ka kwenta kwentang bagay.

PERO

naniniwala ako na ang mga walang ka kwentang kwentang bagay na iyon ay makabuluhan rin sa ating kabuoan.

Tila walang patutunguhan ang aking mga salita pero sa pag titig ko sa aking mga daliri na nag iintay ng utos para pumindot ng mga letra para makabuo ng salita para makabuo ng pangungusap at para makabuo ng ideya.... Napagtanto kong hindi ko na ata kelangan pang magsulat ng ga-litanya pang mga letrang hangin.. sapat ng aminin ko sa sarili ko kung asan ba talaga ako.. Naka upo man o nakatayo..
Pikit man o nakatungo.. Red o black..

Ako'y andito. Sa lugar na ito. sa oras na ito. sa sitwasyong ito. Dito ako. Alam ko na. Dati pa. Aray.

1....2....3.... 11:59

*Minsan

Temporary Adiue

I wrote this three years ago... I can't help but laugh :)) Talk about muussh.

A friend of mine will be leaving tomorrow and for the past few days we have been trying to make his last days memorable. We went to the beach, the boys had a party for him (which may I just share ended up being too traumatic to remember/forget Pao please get well soon), he bought slippers, we had a 99-peso per person exlusive of 12% tax dinner and finally we dropped his girlfriend home. As he came back to the car with tears in his eyes I couldn't help but feel sorry for him.
On the way home I encountered this conversation about long distance relationships. I am a self-confessed cynical person. I feed on doubt. Haha I can't remember which philosopher doubted everything except his doubting. Okay it's like I doubt the existence of this wall, of this person of this name, of this word...but I don't doubt my act of doubting. Blah blah. Haha. Moving on! On said something like you can't deny the fact that when you're not together like in the same place or time zone for that matter, it's hopeless. You'd always need someone to be there with you and for you. I beg to disagree. (My cynical senses failed me on this one)
I have been in a long distance relationship... twice. It didn't work out... twice. Yeah I already got the point. It's not my thing. But what I learned even though it didn't work was it CAN work. There are premises involved of course like IF both parties are willing to sacrifice and IF they really truly unrelentlessly love each other. Without these two premises everything would fall apart.
Choice. Last Sunday, the priest said that Jesus' command for us is simple: LOVE ONE ANOTHER. Not love another one (aka third party, etc). Choice. Loving is also about choosing. You choose to love this person and be faithful to this person even if you're apart = everyone happy. I can't believe I'm having a relationship 101 blog. Haha And yes I chose to love and be faithful in my attempt at LDR (long distrance relationship) Nyahaha. The other party gave up. Awww sad face.. Not! Haha No grudges though... Raaarrr...
Whatever it's my blog! You know what... cliche warning: love is about choices. We choose people we love consciously or unconsciously. We choose to love this person despite him gaining some weight, or her living at the end of Fairview, or him being childish and spoiled, or her being roast to black after swimming, or him being only an inch taller than you or her not having the usual fetish you have on girls... etc. etc. the list goes on and on and on... When we love someone we shut all these out and choose to see only the nice, sweet, tingly, mushy things they possess that never fails to make our day complete.
So I say.. go forth, love, wait, be faithful and bliss cometh. Spare yourself of the drama. Life is freaking simple. Hehe

i carry your heart with me by E. E. Cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

To Ter and Eng... Make the right choices. You know that you're each worth it.
*asking me always why made me ponder...this is my answer: situations, thoughts, words can never be enough fathom why. i just know that you are... and i do....

PS. The long distance relationship worked for them. Their still together. :) Ignore the last notation... It was for a former lover.

once is nonce.

 Einmal ist keinmal (once is nonce: "what happened once might never have happened at all"). Therefore, each life is, ultimately, insignificant; every decision, ultimately, does not matter. Since decisions do not matter, they are light: they do not bind, yet simultaneously, the insignificance of our decisions — our lives, our being — is unbearably light, hence, the unbearable lightness of being.

Read if you only have the patience to do so....

I had this friend who was so perplexed about "love." Not that the person was in love or bitter or anything... A cheesy philosopher. :)) Wala softy ka chong!!! Kala ko ba idol mo si Plato? :)) (?!?!!?)

Monday August 23, 2004

FALLING IN LOVE


When you think of your past love. You may view it
as a failure,

But when you find a new love; you view the past as
a teacher;

In the game of love, it doesn't really matter who
won or who lost.

What is important is you know when to hold on and
when to let go!

You know you really love someone when you want
him or her to be happy.

Even if their happiness means that you're not part
of it;

Everything happens for the best.

If the person you love doesn't love you back,

Don’t be afraid to love someone else again,

For you'll never know unless you give it a try.

You'll never love a person you love unless you risk
for love;

Love strives in hurting;

If you don't get hurt, you don't learn how to love.

Love doesn't hurt all the time;

Though the hurting is still there to test you, to help
you grow.

Don't find love, let love find you;

That's why it's called falling in love because you
don't force yourself to fall. You just fall.

You cannot finish a book without closing its
chapters.

If you want to go on, then you have to leave the
past as you turn the pages.

Love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by
a single caress.

It is a lifetime venture in which we are always
learning, discovering and growing;

The greatest irony of love is letting go when you
need to hold on

And holding on when you need to let go.

We lose someone we love only when we are
destined to find someone else---

One who can love us even more than we can love
ourselves.

On falling out of love, take some time to heal and
then get beckon the horse.

But don't ever make the same mistake of riding
the same one that threw you the first time.

To love is to risk rejection; to live is to risk
dying,
to hope is to risk failure.

But risk must be taken because the greatest
hazard in life is to risk nothing!

To reach for another is to risk involvement, to
expose your feelings is to expose your true self,

To love is to risk not to be loved in return.

How to define love: fall but do not stumble, be
constant but not too persistent, share and never be

unfair, understand and try not to demand, hurt but
never keep the pain.

Love is like a knife.

It can stab the heart or it can carve wonderful
images into the soul that always last for a lifetime.

Love is supposed to be the most wonderful feeling.

It should inspire you and give you joy and strength.

But sometimes the things that give you joy can
also hurt you in the end.

Loving people means giving them the freedom
who they choose to be and where they choose to
be;

For all the heartaches and the tears, for gloomy
days and fruitless years, you should give thanks.

For you know, that they were the things that have
helped you grow.

Loving someone means giving him the freedom to
find his way,

Whether it leads towards you or away from you.

Love is a painful risk to take but the risk must be
taken no matter how scary or painful,

For only then that you'll experience the fullness of
humanity and that is love.

Only love can hurt your heart, fill you with desire,
and tear you apart.

Only love can make you cry and only love knows
why.

If you're not ready to cry, if you're not ready to
take
the risk, if you're not ready to feel the pain,

Then you're not ready to fall in love.

There was a time in our lives when we became
afraid to fall in love,

Because every time we do, we get hurt.

Then I figured that's why it's called falling in love.

RIP JP Quinto You'll always be missed. 

the one who got away?

I was browsing through my old blogs and sites so the next few entries would be blast from the past in themes.

This was from my multiply blog. A friend sent me this via e-mail when I was in college.

In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people.
Ones with whom you shared something special,
ones who will always mean something. There's the
one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the
one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a
pedestal, the one you're with... and the one that
got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that
person with whom everything was great,
everything was perfect, but the timing was just
wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was
no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't
fall the right way, I suppose. I believe in the fact
that ending up with someone, finding a longtime
partner that is, does not lie merely in the other
person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or
maybe even the greater part, has to do with the
matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready
to settle down and commit to someone in a way
that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy
romance.

How often have you gone through it without even
realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in
that mature manner, it doesn't matter whom you're
with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become
big; inconsequentials become deal breakers
simply because you're not ready and it shows. It's
not that you and the person you're with are no
good; it's just that it's not yet right, and little things
become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you're ready. You really are. And
when this happens you'll be ready to settle down
with someone. He or she may not be the most
perfect, they might not be the brightest stars of
romance to ever have burned in your life, but it'll
work because you're ready. It'll work because it's
the right time and you'll make it work. And it'll
make sense, it really will. So that day comes when
you're finally making sense of things, and you find
yourself to be a different person. Things are
different, your approach is different, you finally
understand who you are and what you want, and
you've become ready because the time has truly
arrived. And mind you, there's no telling when this
day will come. Hopefully you're single but you
could be in a long-term relationship, you could be
married with three kids, it doesn't matter. All you
know is that you've changed, and for some
reason, the one that got away, is the first person
you think about. You'll think about them because
you'll wonder, "What if they were here today?"
You'll wonder, "What if we were together now, with
me as I am and not as I was?" That's what the one
that got away is. The biggest "What if?" you'll have
in your life.

If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact
that the one that got away, got away. Believe me,
no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is,
this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully
you're mature enough to realize that you're already
with the one you're with and this is just another test
of your commitment, one which will just strengthen
your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you'll
think about him/her every so often, but it's alright.
It's never nice to live with a "might have been," but
it happens. Maybe the one that got away is the
one who's already married. In which case it's the
same thing. You just have to accept and know that
your memories of that person will probably bring a
nice little smile to your lips in the future when
you're old and gray and reminiscing. But if neither
of that is the case, then it's different. What do you
do if it's not yet too late? Simple...find him, find
her. Because the very existence of a "one that got
away" means that you'll always wonder, what if you
got that one?

Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it
doesn't matter if you've dropped in from out of
nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just might
be "the one that got away" as well for the person
who is youre the one that got away.

You might drop in from out of nowhere and it wont
make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it
will all just fall into place somehow and youll know.
Im thinking it will be a great feeling, in the end, to
be able to say to someone in Hey you, youre the
one that almost got away."

Quotable Quotes

"Okay lang matuwa ka sakin... wag ka lang ma in love"

PAK!

Feel good song...

with a shot of Tequila and a bottle of Corona to wash it down in a bar along a beach...

Shhhwaaaabeeeehhh....

He has an androgynous vibe that I love. Hihi 

Back off loneliness, and hello tenderness
I've been waiting for your call for so long
It must have been hard just to follow your soul
To stick to the road that your heart wants you to go

I love my job: Zamboanga

Most people who knew I was coming to Zamboanga basically had one thing to say... "nakoooo mag-ingat ka dun, baka madukot ka!"

Seriously? Do I look like the "kidnapable" type?

 

eY0w p0wZ

As usual, I got the first flight out at around 4:50 AM. I'm beginning to tire of all the mediocre food in Centennial 2. Delifrance is so-so. Mr. Donut is Mr. Donut. The smoking area cafe is the best by far but no matter how you try to spray the stench after away it just won't.

Unfortunately, I got seated beside a big big like.... hhhmm.. Mr. Clean-ish guy. Who made turbulence happen with his snores. Even Greyhoundz' Pigface or Slapshock's Lo Mejor can't save you from his dreams.

I stayed in Lantaka Hotel. If I remember it right, it's the only hotel in Zambo (yes close kami) beside the sea. Again, unfortunately, the only room left was facing the road not the sea. So much for the sea view part. It's P1,400/night no breakfast included. If you need wifi, they'll charge you P50.00 for the password.

Bed 1 and Bed 2

Bed 3 and Bed 2

Circa 1990 Samsung Colored TV

Wait for it... lalabas si Sadako.

It's the second hotel in Mindanao that I got more than one bed in a room. Bed 1 definitely gave me the creeps. You know those old movies where soldiers die in their beds? In real life, the bed's like that. AFRAIIIIDD. What I did was took out ALL the contents of my luggage and piled them on Bed 1 just so I'm sure no one would occupy it. You know what I mean.

I didn't get to go around as much as I was discouraged by locals themselves that some tourists just stick out like a banana in a box of apples (where did that come from?!) and you don't want that. No worries though, I think I would be go back there again this year for another business trip. Okay moving on....

First night we had dinner in this place they called Paseo Del Mar. Basically, its their version of our Baywalk. Its beside the sea, they restaurants there with some acoustic bands and of course they serve seafood. How would you know if you're in Paseo Del Mar?

Well Paseo del Sol is in Gen San. Sooo.... just ask the tricycle to take you to Paseo del Mar. Haha Kidding! Took a photo of these three because I just thought their cute bordering to annoying.

We ate at....

Sinagang na Hipon with Lemongrass, Liempo, Ginataang Hipon, Chickem BBQ

Highlight for me was the Ginataang Hipon... It's so close to my all time favorite, Nilasing na Hipon from Iloilo. :) Yes, I love shrimps aka Hipons. Yah know.

Next day for lunch went to Haisan. It's supposedly a high end dampa there. It's so high end their seafood is more expensive than the ones here in Manila.

A little overcooked (?) Calamares

Chili Prawns

Vegetarian (green yung laman loob eh CHAR) Lapu-Lapu in Soy Sauce

 Dinner in Palmeras

Seafood and CHUNKS of Lechon Kawali

  Saturday is for giving thanks...

Hypnotic landscape of Fort Pilar Shrine

Say a little prayer

for you. hihi *heart* CHAR!

And finally the beautiful side of my hotel which I only got to see on the day I was leaving. 

Mini Ballroom

Add caption

Jack Coke please :D

There you have it folks. Took me quite some time to finish this but what the hey. Here it is.

My only regret was I didn't get to see the pink beach of Sta. Cruz but then again... I'll be back by July :)

Next stop: the island of Durian and some more durian. Baguio! CHAR! Haha

Cute can only go for so long

N: I'm finally going to get my lipstick!!!!
I: So you're going to see Goldie?
N: Nope, he's going to drop it off sa guard and I'm going to drop off his ipod... in my trashcan. CHAR!
I: Bitch!!!! Nyahahaha
N: I don't want to see him. Hahaha
I: You're such a guy to drop him like that!
N: He's cute. But cute doesn't excite me.
I: Yeah.... Cute can only go for so long.. Cute doesn't sustain.

I love my job: Valencia

If there's one thing I really really really (yes, three times) about my job, it's the simple perk TRAVELing.

Last weekend, instead of partying it up in Sinulog, where most people were. I went to a province in the middle of... not nowhere exactly but... in the middle of the whole entire region/land mass... Valencia to be exact.

Valencia is a province in the middle of Bukidnon and Bukidnon is 2-3 hours away from Cagayan de Oro and about 6 hours away from Davao. There's no direct flight, ergo you can only reach it by land.

I took CDO (Cagayan de Oro) flight in. First flight out, which was like 4:40AM. And yes, I was up by 1 AM. Oh I love my job!

Although the flight was more or less an hour only, I think I'm beginning to master how to sleep, unperturbed in these kind of flights. The moment I fastened my seat belts I wandered off to la la la land.

Anywhoo, here are some photos I took and I'll try to make kwento as we go along. "Try"

 

 

Emotastic at 6:00AM

Arrived around 20 minutes early in the airport while the driver was 20 minutes late. So everybody checked out already and there I was... alone in the arrival area... waiting... CHAR! I was trying to go all emo and everything but that's all I got. I was actually looking forward to the bed in the hotel, waiting for me so those kind of emotions were non-existent so to speak.

Hotel Valencia

Lo and behold I didn't only get one bed but two! Well all their standard rooms are for double occupancy so the smaller bed went to my stuff so they could also rest.  Obviously the interiors are old school but who gives... a night would only cost below P1,000.00. This rate already includes a breakfast for two. But don't get your hopes up, it's not buffet and don't fret you're tastebuds won't miss a lot. They have nice pool which I'll show you later... and drum roll please.... *drum* *drum* *drum* my favorite part in this hotel *drum* *drum* *drum*......... the fastest wifi evaaaaah!!!!!!!! It's the fastest I've tried in the whole existence of internet!!!

Of course after a long day "working," we get to eat something "local" for dinner. Well there's nothing local about it except for the venue but... walang basagan ng trip. Haha

Ihaw would always be the shiznit

of course my favorite: chicken isaw

 

 

 

 

 

I don't know if they we're just sh*ting me but there's this rice in that place they call, "hanging rice". It's a ball of rice wrapped in palm leaves similar to what we call "palaspas." (It's the leaf/leaves we wave during Palm Sunday. --- DUH Haha) So I had two of those rice then 5 chicken isaws and 1 chicken paa. Just a little bit more chicken parts my tummy would probably be able to produce a whole live functioning chicken. Afreyd!

We capped the night early since we had a 6:30AM call time the next day.

Comite International Geneve

Say what? Nosebleed! Kidding!

So I googled what this phrase supposedly means, and here's what I got so far: It's the International Committee of the Red Cross. This humanitarian institution is mandated to protect international victims of war.

Riding in that vehicle is prestigious enough for me. But I have doubts if I have the stomach to be a composed, pacified and non-violent humanitarian (i don't even know if I make sense in that). Well I've been one for the past weeks but let's just say it's friggin' hard.

Back to regular programming...

Cheese.. cheese.. cheese squares?

 I have no idea what these are called. Their like brownies but cheese. Their one of the best cheese thingies/foodies I've tried in my entire life next to Cream Cheese. Buy them at the NVM Mall in the Angel Log's Stall. Oh and their cheesesticks are also to die for.

We finished work so the "tourists" decided to have a night out since it was also our last night. We dined in a restaurant called, El Comodore where their specialties are sea foods. Apparently, we're not the only ones who wanted tome sea foods and night out. 

Well hello, M Mouse!

Anwar & Rich

Since the driver, for the nth time was running late, we decided to just catch a "Motorela." (sounds like a Motorola knock off) It's basically their tricycle, but the seats are located at the back of the driver so it's as if you're riding a mini jeepney.

Motorela Koyah

Here's the pool I was talking about. Kinda neat huh?

Hotel Valencia

These are my hotelmates... From the land of white river rafting, Rich. And from the home of the most badass fruit in the universe, durian, Miss A.

But before we came to the hotel, the entire city of Valencia was experiencing brownout. Fortunately, our hotel has generators. Well actually, every hotel should have one. The only downer was there was on cable. I was hoping to spend the wee hours of the night watching Britain's Next Top Model and watch those bimbo's make a bimbo out of themselves.

Before I flew out, there was just another stopover I made. The Monastery of Transfiguration in Malaybalay. It was solemnly breathtaking. That's the only description I have. Check out my photos below.

Monastery of Transfiguration

good choice of wood

Chairs probably inspired by grade school classrooms

Color Contrast at its finest

Groomsmen preparing for the big event

View on your right

The view in this last photo is not even close to how beautiful it was to stand on that spot where I was. I'm not a connoisseur on traveling but I think the art/passion for traveling is allowing yourself to be surprised at what a place can offer and take it from there. :) Uhm.. a lot like love? CHAR!

This is only the second week of the year I say... I looooooveee my job!!! :) I have 5 more lined up until summer, hopefully I won't screw up that big so I still get to enjoy it.

I'm so excited and I just can't hide it... I'm about to lose control and I think I like it. Say what Pointer Sisters?!?! (Sisa mode: ON)